"So you really want me to do this, huh God?", This was something I said to Him while I was actually on the plane to Mexico
It seems stupid now, and me and my loved ones have definitely laughed at this when I've told them about it...but that's how surreal it felt to be hosting my first retreat
A retreat where I would be teaching business women a quick and systemised process to pitch the media so that they can get onto more top platforms, be seen as industry experts, and start raking in larger paydays.
Thinking about it now, I know that this was because of a phenomenon called "confirmation bias"
Which, according to Steven Barlett is caused by the fact that "humans tend to search for, favour and recall information in a way that confirms or supports their existing beliefs or values"
In other words, I had no evidence that I could actually jump the final hurdle of hosting a retreat; so I still found it hard to reconcile that this was my new identity and reality
This, despite all the:
Praying
Planning
Meetings
Coordinating with and for attendees etc
That had got me up to this point
According to Bartlett this is typical as "the further [your] new evidence [or reality] is from [your] current beliefs, the less likely it is to change [your] thinking". This was especially true for me because of my background
You see, it's deeper than the fact that this was my first retreat
I am the daughter of immigrant parents and the granddaughter of a woman who was illiterate all her life due to never being taught to read or write
(In the majority of cases, Nigeria did not educate girls when she was growing up)
To me, my existence (of getting paid to write and helping others to do the same by leveraging PR) was already revolutionary so this jump to doing it on a grander scale felt like something that was truly exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or think
Yet here I was
Here's one of the many lessons I I learned on this journey, though: Confirmation bias does not have to be a bad thing
While the lack of evidence that we will succeed at our dreams is scary, can make it seem too big and/or like you want to quit, it is also a signal to keep going
If you’ve been been feeling overwhelmed, unworthy or too small for your goals too, I’m going to share with you a mantra that I would say to myself- literally from the planning stages until the retreat was over!
You have to keep going so that you can prove to yourself that what you dream of can be done. That's the only way that you'll give yourself new evidence (for what is possible) and get confirmation bias on your side
PS) When it comes, to PR, one of the ways to get confirmation bias working for you might be to take steps towards going from stumped to savvy about it
Like Tiwa who called this year’s experience “a gamechanger,” Leonna who said it was “phenomenal” and Tuoyo who dubbed it “life-changing”
If that rings true, will you join the waitlist to get early access to details about next year’s retreat and first dibs on early bird tickets?