Season 3 of House of the Dragon is now over

So now I need to figure out what to watch next

What was absolutely fascinating to me about this season was watching Rhaenyra handle being queen

Or some might say “not handle”...

It was so interesting to see her literally sitting on the throne and yet still seeking validation from other people

And wanting other people to see her as legitimate

And I think the other thing, off the back of that, is seeing how that insecurity caused her to make some huge mistakes/take huge missteps that came back to bite her in the ass in the finale (don’t worry I won’t be sharing any spoilers)

And obviously it's interesting to watch from a story point of view because I love me some Game of Thrones, right? But..

The other interesting thing? Realising that, that is an allegory for those of us who are holding ourselves back from being more visible due to insecurities

Even though we know we should be putting ourselves out there more

Or who, like Rhaenyra, are looking for other people to crown us and say that we deserve to shine

If that’s you:

I want to say to you what I really wanted to say to Rhaenyra

Which is:

When I was younger, one of my dad’s biggest lamentations about me was my hyperactivity

And he would always say, in a really exasperated way [insert Nigerian accent]: “Why can’t you just sit still?! Stay in one place!”. But I really just couldn’t do it

My curiosity, vivaciousness and impulsiveness just did not allow me to sit still- try as I might. Fast forward to now and the fact that I’ve been away so long and I'm just returning, is a clue that I now understand the value of taking a step back

And how it allows me to rest, regulate my nervous system, recoup and recalibrate for the next level

But it wasn’t always like this…

One of the things that tend to hold us back a lot, especially when it comes to our visibility goals, is the fact that we’re afraid of not showing up perfectly

Whether that be making mistakes or falling short of the image that we see in our mind’s eye

The problem with perfectionism is the lie that it tells us, which is since we can’t be perfect, we either:

• Shouldn't bother to try (i.e. “do it well or not at all”)

• Should beat ourselves up for our efforts (by engaging in negative self-talk)

Here's my question to you though, sis…

Since the week before last, I’ve been continuing to think about the fear of rejection, especially because I tuned into Jay-Z’s GQ interview

Have you seen it yet, sis?

It reminded me of this comment that I shared in my IG stories about how part of not taking nos personally is actually not allowing them to sit in your spirit. This is because…

We hear all the time that no (as in N.O) simply stands for "Next Opportunity"

Right, sis?

But how many of us actually believe it?

Here's why I ask 👇🏾

Recently in my stories I shared about how I have been prioritising my inner child

[insert pic]

Maybe you’ve been hearing a lot about inner child work and wondering what it is and how it can be beneficial, [insert name]?

Well…

A little known fact is that, especially when it comes to things like visibility and putting yourself out there, inner child work can actually help with things like imposter syndrome

Why?

Because…

I found this year’s International Women’s Day theme so interesting

Do you know what it was?

It was “Give to gain”

This was interesting to me because:

It reminded me of 2 things:

Often, in the conversations about having a “why,” we hear about the benefits

Like it being our North Star and keeping us going when the going gets tough or when life be life-ing

But what tends to be left out of those conversations is how intimidating our whys can be and/or how much they can lead to imposter syndrome

Because of their sheer size or the gap between what we want to achieve vs our experience/skill set

This is why I’m always comforted when I read stories about people who were confronted with huge tasks that God wanted them do and had similar responses

Like:

• Moses: who pointed out his stutter (as a disqualifying factor) when God called him to be His mouthpiece

• Peter: who told Jesus to get away from Him (because he felt unworthy) when he realised who He was

• Esther: who initially rejected her uncle’s plea to see the King because it was against the rules

• Sarah: who laughed when she heard she’d bear a child in her old age

The biggest thing that we can learn from those stories and apply to our own lives is that, as much as we may want to banish imposter syndrome because of how debilitating it can be, it doesn’t have to be that way

Because “[God’s] grace is sufficient… and [His] strength is made perfect in [our] weakness”

All of that to say…