When I was a toddler, my mum says that I was mesmerised by the fireplace
So much so that I wouldn't heed her warnings not to go near it
One day, exasperated with this constant song and dance, she allowed me to touch the rail that guarded it
According to her, not only did I immediately pull my hand back from the heat, I never tried to get close to the fireplace again
In other words, this (newfound) fear protected me and kept me safe
Here’s my point 👇🏾
Last week we talked about the fact that despite what we’re commonly told, simply setting your goals or having a clear vision for what you want for 2024 isn’t enough to keep you on track
Remember that,? If not, will you check that post out here?
Which is why as you set your goals or create that vision board, it's important to consider the why behind every goal
Not sure how?
The 5 WHYS Technique is one of my favourite journaling prompts because it has helped me and my clients stay consistent and accountable with achieving our goals - even when motivation runs a little dry
So, whether you want to start or grow your business, get PR success, or travel the world - the 5 WHYS technique can help you identify the core reason behind your aspirations. What’s great is that it’s super simple. Just grab a pen and notebook and ask yourself why you want to achieve a particular goal. Ask yourself this question 5 times to get to the core why.
Here's an example of how that works in practice...
It's Mother's Day in the UK today.
If you follow me on social media, you'll see that this has caused me to reflect on some of the ways that I am the person that I am today because of my mum.
One of the things that comes to mind as I sit down to write this, though, is a saying that she used to say a lot to me when I was younger:
"It's not me that you're doing, you're doing yourself"
A Nigerian Pidgin (or broken) English way of saying, "You think that in acting out you're hurting me but you're actually only hurting/harming yourself"
Not only does this saying give you a glimpse into the kind of child I was <clears throat> it sheds some light onto the many ways in which, although you might think you're protecting yourself by refusing to be visible, you're actually doing more harm that good.
For example:
If you’re a #bosslady (online entrepreneur, service professional, coach or consultant) looking to become more visible then you probably already know that PR has many benefits
Including:
Positioning you as an expert in your field
Increasing your authority and credibility
Giving you a larger platform to share your influence, thought leadership and message on
Increasing your followers, subscribers and fanbase
Exposing you to your ideal clients- keeping you booked, busy and making bank
The issue? Fear is holding you back
Fear of success…
Fear of outshining others…
Fear of failure…
Fear of rejection…
Fear of leaving your comfort zone…
Fear of judgement…
And it's costing you!
Whether you lean more towards the first, second, third or sixth type of fear that I listed above:
It's stopping you making the amount of money that will allow you to have the kind of lifestyle and freedom that you want.
It's stopping you from living out your purpose and feeling fulfilled in life.
But- more than that- it's robbing the people that you are called to serve of achieving the breakthrough that only you are uniquely designed to give them.
It doesn't have to remain that way though
If you've been rocking with me for a while then you'll know that helping women to go from stumped to savvy about how to get PR for their businesses is kind of my jam!
This wasn't the case in the beginning of my journey, though. Although I always knew that I had a call on my life to lead etc, I ran away from being visible for a VERY long time (years!)
I didn't want to come out of hiding.
I preferred to shrink rather than draw attention to myself.
I was afraid to be judged and criticised for sharing my story and my truth.
I didn't feel worthy
And the list goes on...
Yet recently that's exactly what I did on my episode of Let's Pause Podcast. Here's how you can speak up, step out and shine even if you're scared too, sis:
Did you know that this year's Women's History Month theme is: "Women providing healing, promoting hope"?
Well, according to The National Women's History Alliance, it is!
In honour of that, I will be spending this month talking about healing as it relates to PR success
Because the truth is:
I can give you my whole winning formula to pitching the media so that you can get more visible, attract your ideal clients and get paid what you want, but- in the words of Lauryn Hill- "How you gone win if you ain't right within?" *In other words...
We often hear the phrase "shattering the glass ceiling" in terms of the invisible barrier that stops women achieving their goals and progressing towards top positions in both the work and business sector. But what about the internal glass ceilings that we impose on ourselves? The limiting beliefs systems rooted in culture that have been passed down to us from generation to generation and now threaten to hold us back if we do not unlearn them?
Well, I recently wrote an article for Black Ballad, called "Are These Toxic Cultural Beliefs Holding You Back In Your Life & Business?" that explores 5 common toxic cultural beliefs and how we can overcome them according to a cognitive behaviour therapist (Amanda Bakare) who I interviewed along with 4 other black business women to get a greater depth of perspective and expertise.
One of the toxic cultural beliefs that I mention in this article is the fear that friends will become enemies and, as Michelle Shaw (event planner and stylist) put it, “put their mouth on you,” if we share our ambitions and successes publicly. This is something that is definitely a factor as we start to manifest our PR goals and become more visible. If this is something that has been stopping you from putting yourself out there (more or at all), I want to share this excerpt from the article
We've been doing a lot of talking about purpose recently
Including why purpose is important to your PR strategy and how to do purpose-driven PR.
The reason for this is because when I reflect on the nativity story, particularly from Mary's point of view, that's the overarching theme that jumps out to me about this season
Here's why:
In giving her the gift of Jesus, God took an average little girl and gave her the opportunity to present herself in a new light by lifting the lid of her potential; endowing her with His power and giving her purpose.
But, most of all, God gave her something special to share with the rest of the world- an expression of His love.
To me, this shows us as modern women that we are also pregnant with purpose- meaning that we have something to give and contribute to the world too
However, as a person who sits at the intersection of many identities, I know how hard this can be to believe at times (if not all the time)
You are literally presented with messages built from systems that contradict and try to convince you otherwise every single day but...
Guess what?
Your ability to speak up, step out and shine as the woman that God created you to be is tied to coming out of agreement with society and accepting your divine status as "blessed among women" (Luke 1:28)
Yes you!
Simply put, you can't be a thought leader if you don't actually believe that you have ideas worth sharing...
You can't make impact if you don't believe that you have the power to...
You won't use your voice if you don't believe that it's significant...
You can't be visible if you don't feel that who and what you represent matters...
Because it's impossible to shatter glass ceilings that you continue to uphold
Ready to break them down?
Here's what you must do instead
