Do you know how some people have a "green thumb"? Well my mum has a black one! Like, seriously, in my 34 years she's only succeeded at keeping one plant alive...and that was in the last 2-3! This is one of the biggest reasons that she concreted her garden just before the pandemic. She had more grass, weeds and stinging nettles than actual flowers. And she'd always lament about having to garden again whenever the grass, or anything else, grew back.
According to James Allen, the author of "As a Man Thinketh" (mentioned in my previous blog post), our minds work in a similar way. He states that:
"A man's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind".
In other words, like any garden, our minds will always either produce flowers (positive thoughts) or weeds (negative thoughts) but the weeds will grow out of hand if left to their own devices. With that in mind, here are 4 common mistakes that people make when it comes to preventing this, especially when it comes to PR:
#1 Leaving them to grow
Confucius once said that "The man who says he can and the man who says he cannot are both correct" because our realities are a reflection of our belief systems. The issue with giving negative thoughts or limiting beliefs free reign in your mind, then, is that they will influence how you show up in the race towards your (PR) goals. In other words, if you don't think you're worthy of them, that you can succeed- or whatever else it might be- you will self-sabotage until this ultimately becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. The alternative? Learn how to overcome them and plant more positive thoughts.
#2 Thinking mindset work is as a one-time thing
In the same way that real gardens need maintenance to ensure that weeds don't get out of hand, so do our minds. So you can't just do mindset work once and think that, that will be the antidote to your limiting belief system(s). The process of "being transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2) requires continuous effort. It is a muscle that must be built up regularly, if not daily. My next post will cover some of the ways that I like to do this and you can too.
#3 Not having a graduated approach to facing your fears
In my interview with Amanda Bakare (Cognitive Behaviour Therapist) she said:
“We need to expose ourselves to our fears because we can’t avoid things. If we’re fearful of something and we continue to avoid it. Temporarily [that’s] great. We don’t have to deal with it. But then, if we come across that fear again or something that resembles [it, we] go back to where we left because we haven’t dealt with it. This is why we have to tackle our [limiting] beliefs head on… Don’t just dive straight in though, because you will have the complete opposite outcome that you want. You have to make a plan. You might need to break it down.”
In other words if, for example, your fear is being a guest on a podcast with a large audience, start off with podcasts with smaller audiences and build up until you feel ready to be on a larger platform. This can also help you deal with fears surrounding other types of PR such as public speaking, guest posting and so on.
#4 Not seeking help/accountability
According to research, you are 95% more likely to achieve your goals if you have an accountability partner or partners. This is because of the many benefits that accountability holds. For example:
You perform better under observation
Being held accountable forces you to follow through on commitments
Making your goal(s) and deadline(s) public makes you stick to them
You can harness the power of synergy
All of which will make you more likely to achieve your PR goals, even if you're scared.