feminism

2 steps to shattering self-imposed glass ceilings

2 steps to shattering self-imposed glass ceilings

We've been doing a lot of talking about purpose recently

Including why purpose is important to your PR strategy and how to do purpose-driven PR.

The reason for this is because when I reflect on the nativity story, particularly from Mary's point of view, that's the overarching theme that jumps out to me about this season

Here's why:

In giving her the gift of Jesus, God took an average little girl and gave her the opportunity to present herself in a new light by lifting the lid of her potential; endowing her with His power and giving her purpose.

But, most of all, God gave her something special to share with the rest of the world- an expression of His love.

To me, this shows us as modern women that we are also pregnant with purpose- meaning that we have something to give and contribute to the world too

However, as a person who sits at the intersection of many identities, I know how hard this can be to believe at times (if not all the time)

You are literally presented with messages built from systems that contradict and try to convince you otherwise every single day but...

Guess what?

Your ability to speak up, step out and shine as the woman that God created you to be is tied to coming out of agreement with society and accepting your divine status as "blessed among women" (Luke 1:28)

Yes you!

Simply put, you can't be a thought leader if you don't actually believe that you have ideas worth sharing...

You can't make impact if you don't believe that you have the power to...

You won't use your voice if you don't believe that it's significant...

You can't be visible if you don't feel that who and what you represent matters...

Because it's impossible to shatter glass ceilings that you continue to uphold

Ready to break them down?

Here's what you must do instead

Why nice girls finish last

Why nice girls finish last

Not only does girls’ socialisation impact their ability to promote themselves and be visible, it can have negative repercussions for them when they do

For example according to The Harvard Business Review article, "Nice Girls Don’t Ask”:

“Women who assertively pursue their own ambitions and promote their own interests may be labelled as bitchy or pushy”

This means that “They frequently see their work devalued and find themselves ostracised or excluded…”

“More typically [these responses] are a product of society’s ingrained expectations about how women should act”

Meaning that women can be impacted by societal expectations and gender norms:

The answer?

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Through their video, “If Cinderella were a Guy,” Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo (of Rebelgirls.co) highlight the fact that women are impacted by misogyny as early as childhood

Which, to summarise a previous post, is because of:

This then gives way to confidence issues by the time most girls reach primary or elementary school

(More so than boys)

Which manifests into issues such as imposter syndrome by the time that these girls become women

According to Cate Luzio’s Forbes article, “A Missing Factor in Women’s Leadership: Confidence“:

“The constant second guessing and self-reflection on what we [as women] can or cannot do and our fear of self-promotion has a significant impact on our ability to advance our careers”

She also adds that “although there are various factors missing in women’s leadership, [she] would argue that confidence is one of the most pressing”

One of the things that I love about Mahlah and her 4 sisters (Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah), though, is their show of confidence

For example

Lessons from Mahlah and her sisters on How to overcome Limiting Beliefs caused by Gender Norms

Lessons from Mahlah and her sisters on How to overcome Limiting Beliefs caused by Gender Norms

Last week we discussed how legalistic religious beliefs within the church can stop women from walking in their purpose and fully showing up

Click here if you missed that, sis

This is important because it plays into culture

(which is the behaviours and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic or age group)

especially in terms of how girls are socialised which, in turn, has knock-on effects on our ability to show up, be visible and therefore make impact as women

For, as one of my favourite authors, Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche said:

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller, we say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much.’ ‘You should aim to be successful, but not too successful…’”

which is why, according to research, women feel less at ease with promoting themselves than men- which in turn means that they're less likely to do it.

However…

Mahlah and her 4 sisters (Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah) teach us that the best way to overcome this is to:

Lessons from Mahlah and her sisters on the first step to self-advocacy

Lessons from Mahlah and her sisters on the first step to self-advocacy

In August 2017 I wrote an article called “Lessons from 5 Rebel Girls of the Bible”

Which you can access here, sis

Among those that got an honourable mention were Mahlah and her 4 sisters- Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah

To summarise Numbers 27:1-11, they were the daughters of Zelophehad and when he died they advocated for themselves regarding their inheritance

by standing

“before Moses, before Eleazar the priest, and before the leaders and all the congregation, by the doorway of the tabernacle of meeting, saying: 'Our father died in the wilderness...and he had no sons. Why should the name of our father be removed from among his family because he had no son? Give us a possession among our father’s brothers'"

Causing God to instruct Moses to give it to them

Like it literally says that, when Moses brought their case before the Lord, He spoke to him saying:

“The daughters of Zelophehad speak what is right; you shall surely give them a possession of inheritance among their father’s brothers, and cause the inheritance of their father to pass to them."

Which shows that God is an advocate of women's rights, equality and leadership- despite what we may have traditionally been taught

Lessons from Zipporah on how to be the change you want to see

Lessons from Zipporah on how to be the change you want to see

In my most recent blog post I talked about the importance of taking a stand with your messaging, even if it’s polarising

You can read that here if you missed it, sis

The truth is, though, that sometimes your presence can be polarising not just because of what you say- but who you are

Don’t believe me?

Just look at Zipporah

Number’s 12:1 is very explicit about the fact that “Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married…”. In other words-

They disliked her, not because of the content of her character, but because she was a minority

The worst part?

Lessons from Miriam on why you need a platform to succeed

Lessons from Miriam on why you need a platform to succeed

One of my favourite experts on the topic of leadership is John Maxwell

Never heard of him, sis? You can access a lot of his teachings for free on YouTube, by just searching his name, as a starting as point.

Although one of his guiding principles is “leadership begins with self-leadership,” he also makes it clear that “If you think you’re leading, but no one is following…you are only taking a long walk”

In other words, sis, you need a platform to succeed as a (thought) leader and influencer, which is something that we see very clearly demonstrated through Miriam. For example…

Lessons from Eve on how to defy the curse & have a godly relationship

Lessons from Eve on how to defy the curse & have a godly relationship

So...if you've been rocking with me for a while then you will know that I have a real heart for women and all things female empowerment.

If you've been paying really close attention, you'll also know that a lot of the reason for this is because of things like:

  • Having a grandmother who was denied an education (whilst growing up in Nigeria) simply because she was female- restricting her options and quality of life

  • Witnessing multiple (other female) role models either forfeit their dreams, stay in abusive relationships or operate from a place of low self-worth

due to projected social norms, tradition and religion.

This is why I do what I do in terms of writing, mentoring, podcasting and speaking via the FarAboveRubiesCollection.com. (By changing the narrative for Christian women- one Bible story at a time- my mission is to help Christian women to know their worth, power and purpose so that they can speak up, step out and shine as women of God (rather than end up in the kinds of situations I grew up seeing)).

Well, recently I had the opportunity to take my message offline when I was invited to speak at the "Real Life" youth event at Edmonton Methodist Church, as shown via the video below.