conflict resolution

Lessons from Mahlah and her sisters on How to overcome Limiting Beliefs caused by Gender Norms

Lessons from Mahlah and her sisters on How to overcome Limiting Beliefs caused by Gender Norms

Last week we discussed how legalistic religious beliefs within the church can stop women from walking in their purpose and fully showing up

Click here if you missed that, sis

This is important because it plays into culture

(which is the behaviours and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic or age group)

especially in terms of how girls are socialised which, in turn, has knock-on effects on our ability to show up, be visible and therefore make impact as women

For, as one of my favourite authors, Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche said:

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller, we say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much.’ ‘You should aim to be successful, but not too successful…’”

which is why, according to research, women feel less at ease with promoting themselves than men- which in turn means that they're less likely to do it.

However…

Mahlah and her 4 sisters (Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah) teach us that the best way to overcome this is to:

Lessons from Miriam on how to use your platform for social justice

Lessons from Miriam on how to use your platform for social justice

Last week, I mentioned in passing that Numbers 12 talks about Miriam and Aaron almost staging a coup against Moses because he married a black woman (Zipporah)

Click here if you missed it, sis.

What I didn't share was the aftermath

Basically God went ham on Moses' behalf by calling the 3 of them together; then:

  • Defending Moses

  • Striking Miriam with leprosy

Although Moses' prayer for her healing was eventually heeded, God still made her go through the recommended cleansing and separation process to teach Miriam a lesson. In other words-

God caused her to feel what it's like to be reviled, ostracised and hated for (leprous) skin that she had no control over and could do nothing about- just like Zipporah had been made to feel because of her blackness

Being a British citizen of Nigerian descent connects me with the African diaspora, including my African American brothers and sisters. They are me and I am them.

I talk about visibility all the time and how positive it can be but, as a black woman, I also know what it's like to be visible for all the wrong reasons- just like Zipporah, just like Ahmaud Aubrey, just like Breonna Taylor, just like George Floyd and countless others

All of whom have been tragically killed through acts of domestic terrorism (racism).

What we need is for our white counterparts- particularly those who claim to be our Christian brothers and sisters- to learn the same lesson Miriam did. To put yourself in our shoes. To empathise with us and stand with us. Since we didn't make or break the system, nothing changes until you do. Practical steps on how are given below from my friend Monique Melton (an antiracism educator, author, speaker and podcast host) pictured with me.

Lessons from the 10 Virgins on how to set healthy boundaries in relationships

Lessons from the 10 Virgins on how to set healthy boundaries in relationships

So last week, I was led to Matthew 25 where Jesus told the parable of the 10 virgins. As such, I told you all about what I had learned from this story on:

In keeping with this, plus our recent discussions about relationships (here and here), we are going to be talking about what these 10 hypothetical women have to teach us about setting healthy boundaries in relationships in terms of:

  • Why it's important

  • How to do it (in 5 simple steps!)

So that you can truly speak up, step out and shine as the woman of God that He ordained you to be- - all of which I shared on my Facebook page this week via the (live) video below.

How to forgive someone who hurt you with Gladys Ato

How to forgive someone who hurt you with Gladys Ato

In today's interview, I will be talking about how to forgive someone who hurt you with the amazing Dr. Gladys Ato, of Drgladysato.com (clinical psychologist, leadership and personal growth expert, speaker and author of “The Good Goodbye: How to Navigate Change and Loss in Life, Love and Work”).

By the end of this video you will know:

  • What a good goodbye is and how to have one

  • How to forgive someone who hurt you

  • The importance of self-love, grace, compassion and forgiveness

  • And much more!

Sound like your cup of tea, lovely?

Great! You can do whatever it is you need to do to get comfortable and press play to access this awesome conversation, below:

How to go from Trauma to Triumph with Kathy Haan

How to go from Trauma to Triumph with Kathy Haan

In today's interview, I will be talking about how to go from trauma to triumph with the amazing international success and business mentor, author and speaker that is- Kathy Haan (of Idyllicpursuit.com). 

By the end of this video you will know:

  • Why it's important to let go of the pain that others have inflicted on you and how to do it
  • When you should get life coaching or a mentor and what qualities you should be looking for
  • How to become a coach, even if you have no qualifications
  • How to build wealth consciousness and ditch your old money mindset
  • And much more!

Sound like your cup of tea, lovely?

Great! You can do whatever it is you need to do to get comfortable and press play to access this awesome conversation, below:

(PS apologies in advance, as my mic decided to chime in the conversation with some major feedback during certain points of the conversation).

How to balance career and family as a mother with Lauren Whitworth

How to balance career and family as a mother with Lauren Whitworth

In today's interview, I will be talking about how to balance career and family as a mother with the amazing Lauren Whitworth (of Laurenwhitworth.ca). 

By the end of this video you will know:

  • Whether women can have it all (i.e can they thrive as career/business women as well as mothers) and how?
  • How to bust through the myth of (achieving) balance to manage the "tensions" in your life
  • How to be more present with your children (using Lauren's 10 minute interval method)
  • And much more!

Sound like your cup of tea, lovely?

Great! You can do whatever it is you need to do to get comfortable and press play to access this awesome conversation, below:

Lessons from Jochebed on How to Balance the Risks and Rewards involved in Making Our Dreams a Reality

Lessons from Jochebed on How to Balance the Risks and Rewards involved in Making Our Dreams a Reality

Through studying Shiphrah and Puah last week, we found out that the Pharaoh reigning at the time of Moses' birth gave a command that all Hebrew sons be killed at birth. This is because he was afraid that the Hebrews' great number and might would mean that they would one day "join [Egypt's] enemies and fight against them" in the event of war (Exodus 1:9-10). However, these two midwives did not do as Pharaoh said and "saved the male children alive" because they "feared God" (Exodus 1:15-17).

As a result of Shiphrah and Puah's brave act of civil disobedience, Moses' mother was able to keep him. Scriptures such as Exodus 6:20 and Numbers 26:59 let us know that she was called Jochebed, although in Exodus 2:1-11 (which is the scripture that we will be delving into today) she remains nameless. According to this passage:

"...when she saw that [Moses] was a beautiful child. she hid him three months. But when she could no longer hide him, she took an ark of bulrushes for him, daubed it with asphalt and pitch, put the child in it, and laid it in the reeds by the river bank. And his sister (Miriam) stood afar off, to know what would be done to him" (Exodus 2:2-4).

To cut a long story short, God had it so that the person that discovered Moses was Pharaoh's daughter. However, although she realised that he was a Hebrew child, Exodus 2:6 says that "she had compassion on him". I think that it was because of this that Miriam was bold enough to approach her and ask if she should go and call a Hebrew woman to nurse him for her. But there are two things that are especially remarkable to me:

  1. The fact that Pharaoh's daughter was willing to go against her father's orders by giving Miriam permission to find Moses a nurse, thereby preserving his life even further (Exodus 2:7-8)
  2. The woman that Miriam called was Jochebed and, not only did the Pharaoh's daughter give her permission to nurse him, she paid her to do so until he was old enough to be weaned and brought back to the palace- making Pharaoh's daughter Moses' adopted mother (Exodus 2: 8-10)

Point number 1 I will discuss in another devotional, especially about Pharaoh's daughter, soon. Point number 2, on the other hand, reminds me of a concept that I like to call "balancing the risk and the reward":

Lessons from Peninnah on the Nature of Bullies and Haters

Lessons from Peninnah on the Nature of Bullies and Haters

Like most women in the Bible, there are only a few verses dedicated to Peninnah. For those who have never heard of her- she is mentioned in 1st Samuel 1:2-7, which says:

"And [Elkanah] had two wives: the name of one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children. This man went up from his city yearly to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of hosts in Shiloh. Also the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, the priests of the Lord, were there. And whenever the time came for Elkanah to make an offering, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah, although the Lord had closed her womb. And her rival also provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it was, year by year, when she went up to the house of the Lord, that she provoked her; therefore she wept and did not eat."

So, as you can see, Peninnah wasn't the nicest of people. Yet, I still feel that she has much to teach us, particularly about the nature of bullies and haters.

To continue by listening to the rest of this devotional, press play on the audio below. Download and share with your loved ones also: